Services We Offer

Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry standard dummy text ever since the 1500s. It's kind of like Fibonacci levels are to charts. It takes up space and makes it look like you're saying something.


Actual facts about crypto trading and related issues, not fortune-cookie-worthy aphorisms that sound good and tell you nothing.


Heroic doses of sarcasm and sardonic humor, the only sane response to some of the shit you see in the world of crypto trading.

Flexible Pricing

Today I might be taking your money for a private VIP subscription. Tomorrow I might be giving you everything I know for free. Even I don't know what this will wind up costing you, or what you're going to get for it! You're a crypto trader, you should be totally used to that.


Once you're frustrated past a certain point, complaining is just fun and plain healthy, and we're all human. At least, I am. I don't know about you.

What People Say

Look at this fucking hipster. He flunked out of college in his sophomore year, and just posted on Twitter that he made three times your monthly income on a single trade this morning.

"I flunked out of college in my sophomore year, but this morning $SHT broke out of its ascending rainbow stogie arch to complete its P&V top, and hit my target exactly as I predicted. Then it turned out I wasn't even looking at a chart, I had accidentally been reading my waffle iron. Still, I made 450% profit. Have a blessed day."

John Smith Pastor, Crypto trader for almost 9 months, shiny golden lambo moon child

Twitter: @ApopheniaPays TradingView: YouTube: ApopheniaPays Email: (remove the X manually to prove you’re a human.)

A little background: In all modesty, I’m not an unintelligent guy. I have a science degree and several decades experience independently designing and programming custom business software. I’m a dedicated empiricist, a systemically-adept professional algorithmic thinker, and no stranger to mastering conceptually difficult things… the kind of guy who throws…

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